Trying to stay at a Vegas hotel

Dear New York-New York Hotel & Casino, 

Before I die, I want to visit and stay in your hotel and casino. I have been saving my pennies for years now and I am almost at the minimum requirement. I have saved every cent I could, and I hope to reach your lowest room rate in a year or two. That will be a very happy day indeed. I am not sure how I will get to Las Vegas but I will. Somehow. My perseverance is much too strong to ever quit on this dream.

The only obstacle that could possibly stand in my way is death. Because of this, I am very careful about what I eat, what I do, and where I go every day. I have even sold my car, because that is an accident waiting to happen. Don’t misunderstand me, I am a wonderful driver, but I can’t take the chance with all those other crazy drivers out there. I stay home as much as possible. I am familiar with home and home treats me well. Wouldn’t it be ironic if that were where I died? I wouldn’t be too happy then. But I’m careful, and that is all that matters.

When the day comes that I step foot into your establishment, I will go crazy. My excitement will erupt and I will more than likely pass out. I will be that excited. So, do not bother checking to see if I am all right. I have only fainted and will wake up in two to three minutes. While on the ground, you may find it appropriate to put orange construction cones around me so that other visitors do not step on me. I can imagine that they will be taken aback by the beauty of the place and may forget to watch where they are stepping.

Once I wake up, I will continue my visit and live my dream. But a thought has occurred to me. What if I cannot save enough to pay for a room? I am trying my hardest, but what if I miss by a few cents? Will you let me stay if I am one penny short? Two pennies? I know there must be a cut-off point somewhere. Where is it? One hundred pennies? Please let me know, so that if necessary, I will increase my savings. Lunch isn’t that important. I could skip that and save some money there. But I will wait to hear from you. Thank you for your

RESPONSE

Thank you for your interest in NEW YORK-NEW YORK HOTEL AND CASINO…’The Greatest City in Las Vegas’.

In response to your inquiry, we would need specific travel information in order to assist you efficiently, i.e. arrival and departure dates, number of guests per room, room type preferred, etc.

If you are a member of our players club, you may contact our V.I.P. Room Reservations Department directly 1 888 469-6958

We look forward to your e-mail.
Guest Services Specialist
NEW YORK-NEW YORK HOTEL AND CASINO

MY RESPONSE

Dear New York-New York Hotel & Casino,

I must not have my head on straight. Of course you would need additional information in order to provide me with the most appropriate answer. What was I thinking? Apparently, I wasn’t. However, I am now focused.

I would like to arrive at 2:30 A.M. on February 20, 2006 and leave at 5:00 A.M. on February 20, 2006. I will not be traveling alone. My pet squirrel, Miggs, will accompany me. He is quiet and well-behaved, so you do not need to worry about him causing trouble to you, the rest of the hotel and casino staff, or other guests. The room type that Miggs and I would like is a Skyline room with two queen-sized beds. One king-sized bed will not do since Miggs is a kicker. I learned that during our trip to Florida last year. Every night, I was pummeled by his tiny feet until my legs were hideously bruised. Therefore, it is of the utmost importance to have two queen-sized beds.

I look forward to hearing from you.

RESPONSE

The current Standard Skyline room rates for the dates you have specified are as follows:

$139.99 PER NIGHT

WE DO NOT ALLOW PETS

Rates are based on stay patterns. Quoted rates are not guaranteed and subject to change/availability. 9% tax not included. First night room and tax prepaid with a credit card as a deposit is required at time of booking. Preferences are noted and requests honored subject to availability at check-in. Rates based on single-double occupancy.

Our rooms accomodate up to 5 guests total..the 3rd, 4th or 5th guest would be an additional $30 each/each night. There are no meals, shows, etc. included in the price quoted.

Guests must be 18 or over to make a reservation and check-in. Guest must be 21 or over to be in the gaming areas and consume beverages containing alcohol. Proper identification will be required at check-in. Guest under 18 years of age must be accompanied by an adult at all times during their stay.

Reservation booking requests cannot be taken via our email service. Please contact our Room Reservations Department at 1 800 693-6763 or book online at our website http://www.nynyhotelcasino.com. AAA, AARP, corporate rates, airline employee rates, hospitality industry rates are not available.

You may contact our Room Reservations Department directly for further assistance or visit our website, where you can also purchase tickets to any of our exciting show here at NY-NY. Ask our operators to connect to our Entertainment and Restaurant hotline x 6925.

Guest Services Specialist
NEW YORK-NEW YORK HOTEL AND CASINO

Raccoons in the Crown Plaza

Dear Crown Plaza Seattle,

I was referred to you by a representative of Holiday Inn. I had asked Holiday Inn whether they allowed pets, but they said they do not. Howver, you did for a $50 deposit. Is this true?

My pets aren’t pets in the truest sense, however. They are raccoons. Pet raccoons, granted but still raccoons. They are not ill-tempered and are quite tame, but because of the fact that they are not dogs or cats, I would like to discuss them with you. Would they be allowed inside your building? I don’t let them walk around on leashes or anything like some people with dogs tend to do, which I think is personally rude. I hate it when a leashed dog is walking around my legs, sniffing. They leave no personal space, but the problem is, the owners thing I want to see their dog and perhaps pet it. I don’t. I want to check in and go to my room. My raccoons are stuffed inside cages, small portable cages, with black cloth draped over.

Do my raccoons fall under your pet policy? Or is there something I need to do? I can toss them into a burlap bag if need be. Just say the word. Thank you for your time.

RESPONSE

Dear Adam,

Unfortunately, our hotel’s pet policy will not allow raccoons as pets inside the building. We apologize for the inconvenience. Thanks.

Rena Y.
Executive Assistant

Le Parker Meridien Hotel

Dear Le Parker Meridien Hotel,

I would like to know if there are any rooms available for June 30. Are there?

On that day, I will be accompanied by a Gibbon Monkey. Will this be a problem? I was told by the Salisbury Hotel that you allow pets. My Gibbon Monkey does have a problem though. He is a salivating monkey.

Gibbon, the monkey, has a steady stream of spit pouring out of his mouth at all times. He does not stop. I have gotten used to constantly stepping or sitting in spit, but I would like to know if Gibbon will be allowed in your hotel. I do not want Gibbon’s saliva to cause any problems.

While in your hotel, he will basically sit in the bed and salivate all day. There will be a few times where he will get up to use the bathroom and possible call the front desk to request extra towels (to soak up the spit), but otherwise, he will keep to himself.

I have heard that you once allowed a flock of flamingos to stay at your hotel, so I am sure Gibbon will be allowed in, but I would like to make sure. Gibbon and I look forward to staying at the Parker Meridien Hotel.

RESPONSE

Dear Mr. Palmer,

 Thank you very much for your letter of April 12.  Though I very much appreciate my colleagues at the Salisbury Hotel referring you to us, I regret to inform you that we will not be able to accommodate Gibbon. My team and I were very shocked that a proud member of the animal kingdom has been so “domesticated” that he is now able to communicate over the telephone with our front desk.  

With reference to the “flock of flamingoes” that stayed with us, actually they were a punk rock band, a very close ancestor to the human species.

 

Cordially,
Le Parker Meriden Hotel